Welcome, one and all (or maybe just one – Hi, mom), to my brand spanking new website and blog. I've had sites in the past, but this time I'm taking personal responsibility for the content. I'm going to tend to these pages like an old, toothless heiress tends to her multitude of feral cats.
Maybe that's the wrong simile for the occasion.
Nevertheless, I'm going to keep this site in shape. Just wait! You'll see! Exclamation point!
In preparation for this new endeavor, I took seven years of intensive Website Training, in which I learned everything from Secrets of HTML to The Art of Mastering Minesweeper.
[It should be noted that this was actually a two week course, spread out over seven years. It should also be noted that I'm just kidding – I didn't actually take a class. That would be ridiculous. Finally, it should be noted that no one really knows what HTML stands for, or exactly what the point of Minesweeper is.]
This site and blog is meant to be a simple place of calm, curious, artistic expression. If you're reading this now, you probably know something about me from one or more of the various projects I've been involved in over the years, and I thank you for your ongoing encouragement. While this is a place where I'll talk about and promote those types of projects (albums, theater, tv, etc.), it's also where I'm going to go when I feel like making something that isn’t necessarily connected to a grand scheme or a large scale project. This is where I’m going to collect those floating ideas that are currently scribbled on hotel stationary all over my apartment.
Basically, I want to start giving you a lot of STUFF.
What kind of STUFF, you ask? Music, mostly. Thoughts too. Maybe a little bit of prose, for those of you who are into that kind of thing. And hopefully you'll feel like you can contribute to the party --- listen, watch, read, comment, share, tweet, engage, rearrange, remix, reply, review, vine, whine, draw, or whatever else your computer's CPU power allows.
[Rule one of Website Training: Always be aware of your computer's CPU power. Also, it's good to know the CPU power of your closest friends.]
2015 is shaping up to be a pretty fun year for me. When I can tell you exactly what I mean, I will. And I'm excited to take you along for the ride.
Hang on. My phone's ringing.
Famed Internet Mogul, Mark Zuckerberg: Hey, kid.
Me: Sup, Z?
Mark: You writing that blog?
Me: Yeah. It's going really well so far. Like REALLY well.
Mark: Make sure you add a video.
Me: A wha?
Mark: A video. You know, to welcome everyone to your site. People dig videos.
Me: I already added, like, two pictures.
Mark: Moving or still?
Me: Still, but...
Mark: Post a video.
Me: Saying what?
Mark: Just, like, "Hello", or some shit like that. People dig that kind of thing. [Sound of cheering in the background.] Sorry, man, I gotta go. Someone just mixed soda and pop rocks in the cafeteria.
Me: But what else do I need to know about making this video?
Mark: Just say, "Hello" and be sincere.
[Mark hangs up.]