Nothing kick-starts your day like a private tour of the U.S. Capitol.

We were whisked from one room to the next, learning snippets of trivia and marveling in the beauty of each looming piece of memorabilia. (As it turns out, every statue in the building was created exactly to scale - and Andrew Jackson was, in fact, 23 feet tall).
Murals surrounded us with depictions of important events in U.S. history, including Columbus’ relatively famous discovery, and the Wright Brothers’ dangerous attempt to build the world’s first LAPD helicopter, complete with spotlight and Channel 4 News cameras.

Our tour guide revealed many secrets about American society, and the way its government works. For example - did you know that all Republicans worship Ronald Raegan, and have a weekly DVD party where they watch every single one of his movies? Or that Abraham Lincoln invented the beard?

The tour guide didn’t necessarily admit these super-secret facts, but I picked them up along the way. I’m pretty good at reading body language.

We walked through halls where brilliant leaders and forward thinkers have graced the floors since the creation of this fine nation.
And I think Newt Gingrich has been there too.

I felt a certain attraction to the room where the President projects his "State of the Union" address, and had a sudden urge to hop on stage, screaming "Here’s MY State of the Union, nerds!" Followed by a series of hip thrusts and rock kicks.

Perhaps the most exciting part of the day came at the end of the tour, when we walked down the street to indulge in some over-priced Mexican food. I looked around at the government employees all around us, spending their lunch breaks discussing policies, concerns, candidates, and wars - changing the world with each exchange of words. And as they shoved sloppy bean burritos and Chimichangas into their mouths, I felt happy to know that I had explored a truly historic and internationally important landmark today.

There is only one mystery I was unable to crack during my trip to the Capitol:

If Canadian Thanksgiving is celebrated in October, and U.S. Thanksgiving takes place in November, does that mean the Pilgrims love Canadians more?

And, if so, who should be more thankful?

Kyle